Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
