All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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