Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
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I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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