True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
