Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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