Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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