My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize