So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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