I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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