I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
