I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize