Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
