as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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