I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
