three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
