I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
