she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
