can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
