Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
