If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
