oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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