Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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