Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
