Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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