Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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