Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
