come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
