It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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