OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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