Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
