lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
