well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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