its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
