Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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