I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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