When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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