Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
