omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
