Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
