Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
