so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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