New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
