U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
