Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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