i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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