so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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