I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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