The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just had sex on a roof
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
