your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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