im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize