Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
