sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
is it fun? or sober?
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