Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
