im having a threesome with these popsicles
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
