Don't you send me to vm
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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