I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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