ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
