She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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