One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize