Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
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1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
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I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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