all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
