She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
